Jac: I have two friends who used to be very close. I’m changing their names for today—we will call them Adelaide and Felicia. One day, Adelaide said something (with no ill intent) that Felicia chose to take offense to… 

Felicia’s response back was quite saucy and hurtful toward Adelaide. Only then did Adelaide realize she must have hurt Felicia’s feelings and immediately apologized for what she had said. 

Sadly, Felicia never responded to Adelaide’s apology. I think she came to understand that the apology was sincere and genuine, but for some reason she couldn’t ever voice that forgiveness to her friend. Nor did she recognize that it might have been a good idea to apologize to Adelaide for reacting in such a hurtful way. 

They really don’t do much together anymore, although they are nice to each other when they end up at the same place. 

Why do you think it can be so difficult to voice forgiveness to someone who has unintentionally hurt you, even after they have genuinely apologized?

Jeri: I have to think that maybe they are still holding onto some hard emotions—unresolved and unprocessed. Probably due to one not expressing oneself, so things stay bottled up inside…

Jac: I think you are dead on. There has to be stuff going on beneath the surface that just hasn’t been dealt with. I also wonder if there could be some self-perceived shame or embarrassment regarding the situation, which is common with an avoidant attachment style. 

I think it can be perceived as easier to just not deal with the issue than to have to face those emotions—even if it leaves a giant rift in a once cherished relationship. 

Julie Menanno, author of Secure Love said, “Those with avoidant attachment don’t push away closeness. They push away shame. 

“They’ve been led to believe that emotions are weak. Showing emotions will show their weakness. If they’re seen as weak, [they perceive] that will make them shameful. Being shameful leads to rejection. 

“Shame says ‘hide.’ So that’s what they do, they hide. They would rather hide and ‘sort of’ stay safe, than come out of hiding and ‘definitely’ be rejected and alone. 

“…The degree to which you hide, is the degree to which you’ll have blocks to connection to others.”

And I think that’s especially true when an apology probably should have also been made by the one who created the second offense (like Felicia’s saucy and hurtful response to Adelaide).

Jeri: That’s very insightful. Attachment theory is new to me, but this makes total sense. 

If any of you have been unable to voice forgiveness to someone who has hurt you, or if you’ve been on the other end—where you’ve apologized, but forgiveness hasn’t been verbalized— there’s a dose of enlightenment below.

Love from Jeri and Jac

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Since we promised to treat you to an extra dose of light in your inbox, we include a Dose of Enlightenment for you at the end of each newsletter. We value your agency, so it’s up to you whether or not you receive it!

This Dose of Enlightenment is a frequency equation meant to clear a hidden and trapped emotion that you’ve been holding onto. 

If today's emotion is one that we have already cleared, know that we are addressing a different layer or situation this time.

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Today’s emotion is: inability to voice forgiveness or other emotions

How does this emotion apply to you? For best results, ponder this question and identify how inability to voice forgiveness or other emotions applies to you.

Dose of Enlightenment: 77 + 923 = E

Say it out loud with intent: “seventy-seven plus nine-twenty-three equals enlightenment.” 

Breathe. Let it go. Feel the shift. Allow your body to be filled with light.

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To access all of our past newsletters, see our blog: https://www.enso-ia.com/blogs

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The Doses of Enlightenment come from the M: Collaborations with the Divine Doctor book by Jaclyn Taylor. If you haven’t picked up a copy yet and want to learn more about how this works, you can get one here: 

https://intrinsicallyawaken.com

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Feel free to send us a message at hello@enso-ia.com. We would love to hear from you!

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​Every decision you make brings you closer to—or farther away from—the Light. We will meet you at the Light!