Jac: Have you ever thought about the patterns that seem to play over and over in your life—almost like they are stuck on repeat?

Jeri: Actually, I have recently. I feel like the number one pattern—or repeating adversity I have dealt with my whole life is self-hatred. I don’t even like to admit it because it sounds so awful, and really, it is. 

Sometimes the slightest thing can set it off and I spiral into a dark hell hole. For the most part I’ve been able to control it by using doses of enlightenment—but last week was especially hard, and I couldn’t seem to shake it off. 

Jac: Wow, that sounds really tough. What happened?

Jeri: I felt myself slip into a manic state (which I haven’t done for 15 years) and said things to a group of friends that I felt was judgmental and hurtful. I couldn’t stop myself.

The crazy thing is, I wasn’t really aware of what happened until 2 days later, when the inflammatory thoughts took over. I was positive those friends hated me and would never want to be around me again… after all, I showed my true colors, right!?! 

Those thoughts really pulled me in. I tried everything I could think of to release myself—prayer, studying the scriptures, doses of enlightenment, ho’o pono pono and spirit to spirit with the ladies. I could feel it working but I knew that I needed to talk to them personally before I could really be forgiven by them and myself.

A few days later I ran into Sherri—she was the one I felt I had hurt the worst—and asked if I could talk to her. I told her I owed her a huge apology. She looked at me incredulously, and said, “for what”? I started to cry and explained how sorry I was for my behavior and that I shouldn’t have said those things during lunch. 

Then she said something unbelievable… she said that she didn’t even notice, she was just glad to have someone to talk to and there was nothing to worry about. She enjoyed our conversation! Then she gave me a big hug, which put my fears to rest.

Jac: Wow. It sounds like your thoughts really took over your life for a few days. 

Jeri: They did. Thankfully, the other ladies were just as kind. So here’s the thing… it turned out to be a huge blessing. As I look back on it, I can see God’s hand in all of it. I knew that self-hatred has been a long-standing issue for me and had been praying to overcome it.

Then I have this experience that I viewed as traumatic… which apparently wasn’t as bad as I thought it was… Heavenly Father orchestrated a chance for me to reconnect with each friend in a positive way.

I could feel His love and the love from each of my friends. It made me feel like if they loved me, it must be okay to love myself.

Jac: That is a really good lesson. Asking for Divine help in our healing is so important—we don’t have to go through those painful experiences alone. I love that Sherri didn’t think anything about it. I think it is true that some people are a lot more sensitive than others which can make them more prone to allowing those inflammatory thoughts run wild.

Dear friend, it’s Christmas Day. Give yourself the gift of letting go of those inflammatory thoughts by taking some time to go deep and see where you are at…  

Identify where your thoughts are getting out of control—whether in big ways or small ways. Then say the dose of enlightenment below. 

Remember to ask Heavenly Father’s help in overcoming them.

 We love you and wish you a very Merry Christmas!

Jeri and Jac

*******************************************************

Today’s emotion is: inflammatory thoughts

 How does this emotion apply to you? For best results, ponder this question and identify how inflammatory thoughts applies to you.

Dose of Enlightenment: 147 + 853 = E

Say it out loud with intent: “one-forty-seven plus eight-fifty-three equals enlightenment.” 

Breathe. Let it go. Feel the shift. Allow your body to be filled with light.

*******************************************************

To access all of our past newsletters, see our blog: https://www.enso-ia.com/blogs

*******************************************************

The Doses of Enlightenment come from the M: Collaborations with the Divine Doctor book by Jaclyn Taylor. If you haven’t picked up a copy yet and want to learn more about how this works, you can get one here: 

https://intrinsicallyawaken.com

*******************************************************

Feel free to send us a message at hello@enso-ia.com. We would love to hear from you!

*******************************************************

Every decision you make brings you closer to—or farther away from—the Light. We will meet you at the Light! 
​