“I want you to be there when I have my baby.”

Wait… What!? No. No way.

Truthfully, deep down I did want to be there for my sister, but the thought of witnessing the pain and travail of childbirth terrified me. A few months later, she reminded me that the time was approaching and that she still wanted me there. 

I decided to clear some emotions and be brave. Honestly, it was cool to be able to help with the foot zoning stuff in the hospital room. 

But I kid you not, witnessing that delivery was AWFUL!! Things were not going smoothly, she was in crazy intense pain (natural delivery), her doula was being weird and making her mad, and my brother-in-law was practically crying because he didn’t know how to help. 

The mid-wife was calm though. Well, until she realized the cord was wrapped around baby’s neck a few times. She urged my sister to PUSH and get that baby out NOW!!! The cord had already stopped pulsing. Mere seconds could be the difference between life and death for the baby. 

I wanted to get the heck out of that room! It was way too intense in all the wrong ways. 

I couldn’t understand how women could be crazy enough to go through labor more than once! (Everyone assured me it isn’t always like that, but dang.)

Once baby came out crying… everything changed. Heaven had arrived. I’ve never experienced such a beautiful and bright feeling of love that permeated the room and wrapped around the hearts of everyone blessed to be in there.  

And then I knew why women are willing to go through labor multiple times. 

Labor and delivery is only one aspect of motherhood I’m afraid of. But then when you think about the crazy world we live in… and the pressure of teaching children in righteousness and not getting caught up in false traditions or the ways of the world… It’s all kind of scary too.

But as many of you already know, God is in charge. And I need to remember that. Especially if I ever have the chance to be a mom.

If any of you have fears regarding motherhood or fatherhood—no matter if you’re already a parent, a future parent, not a parent, hope to be a parent, a pet parent… see the dose of enlightenment below. 

Love from Jac

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Since we promised to treat you to an extra dose of light in your inbox, we include a Dose of Enlightenment for you at the end of each newsletter. We value your agency, so it’s up to you whether or not you receive it!

This Dose of Enlightenment is a frequency equation meant to clear a hidden and trapped emotion that you’ve been holding onto. 

If today's emotion is one that we have already cleared, know that we are addressing a different layer or situation this time.

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Today’s emotion is: fear of motherhood/fatherhood

How does this emotion apply to you? For best results, ponder this question and identify how fear of motherhood/fatherhood applies to you.

Dose of Enlightenment: 88 + 912 = E

Say it out loud with intent: “eighty-eight plus nine-twelve equals enlightenment.”

Breathe. Let it go. Feel the shift. Allow your body to be filled with light.

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The Doses of Enlightenment come from the M: Collaborations with the Divine Doctor book by Jaclyn Taylor. If you haven’t picked up a copy yet and want to learn more about how this works, you can get one here: 

https://intrinsicallyawaken.com

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Feel free to send us a message at hello@enso-ia.com. We would love to hear from you!

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Every decision you make brings you closer to—or farther away from—the Light. We will meet you at the Light! 
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