Have you ever discovered something so devastating in a your relationship that it made you feel like the whole thing was a lie? I have...

Processing something like that makes you feel like your heart has been ripped wide open and laid bare. 

I didn't know it at the time, but about 10 years into our marriage, my husband wrongfully decided I had done something immoral before we ever met—something he absolutely could not handle.

The story he told himself became his truth, and that lie progressively grew.

He became emotionally distant, withheld his love, and put himself on a pedestal—believing he was better than me.

It didn’t take me long to mirror back to him those exact same things, because that’s what couples do, right? A wedge was driven so deep between us that the love was gone and communication was non-existent—but, the pride was thriving as we withheld love from each other… and ourselves, causing years and years of damage to our marriage.

That devastating discovery of the story he had been telling himself came to light before our 47th anniversary—let that sink in to give you an idea of how many years of suffering we have survived!

Withholding can show up in every type of relationship—it can be with your parent, sibling, child, friend, boss or spouse. Withholding exhibits in many different ways because many things can be withheld—affection, praise, information, time, validation or support.

Withholding makes you feel insignificant, lonely, ignored, shut out and disempowered. It is especially damaging because you may believe you don’t matter and are not worthy to be loved, or worthy of having your needs and desires met.

If you find yourself in a withholding relationship, prayerfully ask… is it worth saving? Be careful and prayerful about your decision.

Remember that you matter and are worthy and deserving of relationships that are supportive, respectful and loving.

With that being said, so is the other person. Is he or she willing put forth the effort to change the current dynamics? Are you willing to work together?

If the relationship is worth saving, understand that it won’t be a quick fix. With some relationships, as in the case of a narcissistic connection, it may be time to move on.

In my case, I have a marriage relationship that is very much worth saving. My husband and I are both on board and willing to make the necessary sacrifices and changes necessary to repair the past hurts and damage.

Each day brings new challenges, and some days we slide backwards; but what is important is that we continue to try and are looking for ways to strengthen our bond.

My dear friend, every withholding relationship is different. Only you can decide what is right for you. Please know that I feel your pain, and am pulling for the best possible outcome for your behalf.

See the dose of enlightenment below.

With love,

Jeri

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Since we promised to treat you to an extra dose of light in your inbox, we include a Dose of Enlightenment for you at the end of each newsletter. We value your agency, so it’s up to you whether or not you receive it!

This Dose of Enlightenment is a frequency equation meant to clear a hidden and trapped emotion that you’ve been holding onto. 

If today's emotion is one that we have already cleared, know that we are addressing a different layer or situation this time. 

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Today’s emotion is: withholding love

How does this emotion apply to you? For best results, ponder this question and identify how withholding love applies to you.

Dose of Enlightenment: 53 + 947 = E

Say it out loud with intent: "fifty-three plus nine-forty-seven equals enlightenment.”

Breathe. Let it go. Feel the shift. Allow your body to be filled with light.

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To access all of our past newsletters, see our blog: https://www.enso-ia.com/blogs

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The Doses of Enlightenment come from the M: Collaborations with the Divine Doctor book by Jaclyn Taylor. If you haven’t picked up a copy yet and want to learn more about how this works, you can get one here: 

https://intrinsicallyawaken.com

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Feel free to send us a message at hello@enso-ia.com. We would love to hear from you!

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​Every decision you make brings you closer to—or farther away from—the Light. We will meet you at the Light!