A while back, I sent a thoughtful response (at least I thought it was) to someone dear to me. I wanted to make sure my reply was very clear. I also requested their thoughts on something that was super important to me. 

When I didn’t hear back for hours and hours, I began to fear I had made a mistake. 

In my past, I have dealt with a ridiculous amount of betrayal trauma—from friends and relationships of all kinds—ever since childhood and into my adult life.

And although I’ve already done a lot of healing on trauma, memories surfaced from past betrayals, and I began to wonder if this person was punishing me for saying something they didn’t like, or for requesting their thoughts on something that they didn’t feel was worth their time…

I did my best not to let my mind run away and create stories that weren’t true. Yet I felt a lot of discomfort from deep anxiety—to the point that I could not focus on anything but that, despite my efforts to release it using multiple tools, including prayer. However, I couldn’t get the discomfort to go away for long. 

I finally decided to it would be wise to clear some emotions and see if I could dig deep enough to find the real root. 

The first emotion that came up was “rejecting life.” It took some excavation skills, but I figured out that I was punishing myself for the past… due to the false belief that it was my fault people chose to betray me… and my own self-punishment was causing me to reject opportunities to enjoy life experiences, like playing games with my nieces and nephews that evening!

If you are ready to stop creating reasons to punish yourself for the past—whether for false beliefs of things being your fault, or for something you did do… see the dose of enlightenment below. 

Love from Jac

PS That person texted me back late that night. They hadn’t responded yet because they were also seeking to send a thoughtful response back to me… they had needed time to reflect and figure some things out. I’m grateful I was able to clear out the emotions and anxiety so that my happiness wasn’t hinging on someone else’s response—or lack thereof. By the time the response came, I was already at peace.

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Since we promised to treat you to an extra dose of light in your inbox, we include a Dose of Enlightenment for you at the end of each newsletter. We value your agency, so it’s up to you whether or not you receive it!

This Dose of Enlightenment is a frequency equation meant to clear a hidden and trapped emotion that you’ve been holding onto. 

If today's emotion is one that we have already cleared, know that we are addressing a different layer or situation this time.

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Today’s emotion is: punishing self for the past

How does this emotion apply to you? For best results, ponder this question and identify how punishing self for the past applies to you.

Dose of Enlightenment: 56 + 944 = E

Say it out loud with intent: “ninety-one plus nine-zero-nine equals enlightenment.”

Breathe. Let it go. Feel the shift. Allow your body to be filled with light.

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For access to all of our past newsletters, see our blog: https://www.enso-ia.com/blogs

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The Doses of Enlightenment come from the M: Collaborations with the Divine Doctor book by Jaclyn Taylor. If you haven’t picked up a copy yet and want to learn more about how this works, you can get one here: 

https://intrinsicallyawaken.com

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Feel free to send us a message at hello@enso-ia.com. We would love to hear from you!

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​Every decision you make brings you closer to—or farther away from—the Light. We will meet you at the Light!