He wanted to get married. But I wasn’t sure. And honestly, I felt like he was being a little too pushy about it. I knew how I felt about him, but I wasn’t convinced that how he said he felt about me was actually how he felt. 

I’d been dating this guy for several months. It was kind of a long distance relationship, but also kind of not. He came to Idaho every other week to work remotely and see his two little girls who lived in a city fairly close to my little town. 

He had convinced me to go visit him in Florida for a week because he was too busy with work to make the trip here that week. He assured me that since he was the boss, he would absolutely make time to spend with me if I came—he just had to be there in FL for certain parts of the project they were working on—to make sure everything was done correctly.

When I got to Florida, I found myself mostly alone for that whole week.

Thankfully I had work I could do… one day he texted to say he was headed home early so that we could go do something fun. Then, without a word to me, he stopped to buy some sunglasses on his way back… That’s right, he went shopping—by himself—for three hours… because he couldn’t decide which pair to get. 

On Saturday, the day he always has off, he kept checking and responding to emails, so we still hadn't gone to do anything together. 

On Sunday afternoon, he promised to take me for a walk around the lake, but said he wanted to talk on the phone to his girls first. He went into his room to call his girls, and I went to go get ready for the walk. 

An hour passed. Then two. Then three. Yet he never came out of his room… 

I finally knocked on his door and he said he hadn’t gotten a hold of his girls yet. I was furious that he just stayed in his room waiting for them to call him back when we could have already walked around the lake three times!

We could have at least could have been spending time together!

The morning I flew back, he told me the airport was always crazy in the mornings and that I needed to get up two hours earlier than I would have planned to avoid the crowds. It sounded off, but I was already so sleep deprived and decided I’d better just trust him.

Those crowds never came.

I found out later that he just wanted to go into work early that day. 

I’d never experienced so much inconsiderateness in my life! (And that was the short and condensed version of everything that happened while I was there.)

Obviously, that relationship didn’t last after the way he had treated me. 

I didn’t realize until a couple years later that my judgments of him and his behavior were equally—if not more—inconsiderate… 

I didn’t communicate my feelings as things were happening as well as I should have. 

I didn’t recognize or validate (as well as I could have) the stress and pressure he was under. 

I’d forgotten about his PTSD because of my own emotional turmoil. 

Honestly, I think we were both coping the best way we knew how, but not communicating effectively with each other—which was a massive recipe for disaster. 

I’ve learned that when we see ourselves and our own feelings and issues more clearly than we see other people’s, we are being inconsiderate. It's like mote and beam syndrome, but in reverse!

If you’re ready to truly see people and be aware of what they are going through, see the dose of enlightenment below.

Love from Jac

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Since we promised to treat you to an extra dose of light in your inbox, we include a Dose of Enlightenment for you at the end of each newsletter. We value your agency, so it’s up to you whether or not you receive it!

This Dose of Enlightenment is a frequency equation meant to clear a hidden and trapped emotion that you’ve been holding onto. 

If today's emotion is one that we have already cleared, know that we are addressing a different layer or situation this time.

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Today’s emotion is: inconsiderate

How does this emotion apply to you? For best results, ponder this question and identify how inconsiderate applies to you.

Dose of Enlightenment: 128 + 872 = E

Say it out loud with intent: “one-twenty-eight plus eight-seventy-two equals enlightenment.”

Breathe. Let it go. Feel the shift. Allow your body to be filled with light.

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For access to all of our past newsletters, see our blog: https://www.enso-ia.com/blogs

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The Doses of Enlightenment come from the M: Collaborations with the Divine Doctor book by Jaclyn Taylor. If you haven’t picked up a copy yet and want to learn more about how this works, you can get one here: 

https://intrinsicallyawaken.com

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Feel free to send us a message at hello@enso-ia.com. We would love to hear from you!

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​Every decision you make brings you closer to—or farther away from—the Light. We will meet you at the Light!