Some of you may remember my dinner experience a while back after joining a dinner group chat in my church group.

I had mustered up the courage to put myself out there to make new friends over good food, but instead of coming away with new friends, I came away feeling hurt, rejected and invisible. 

And it wasn’t because I hadn’t tried to connect. And it wasn’t because I didn’t smile and ask questions to get to know them. 

It was because one girl told me she was too tired to talk to me (she was kind of quiet, but she talked to everyone else), and another girl told me (before I was even done eating) that she was ready to let me out of the booth anytime so I could leave. I felt really shut down all around, and it felt horrible.

And then, when I was on my way out (I had to scoot and shuffle across the bench), I accidentally slightly tilted my to-go container, and red sauce spilled all over my pants, shirt, and coat. (What a crappy container!) 

All seven people all ignored my “oh no!” exclamation and my frantic searching for napkins to clean myself off… They just left me there without a word. Like I was invisible. 

I regularly see this group of people on Sundays, but I’ve avoided interacting with them. I suppose you could say that I have been hardened against them for my own self-preservation. 

However, the Lord has been putting them in my path lately, and I realize I really need to forgive them. So I’ve been working on that. 

Being hardened hurts me and my ability to connect with all people, including all of the people who hadn’t been involved with my unfortunate experience.

Last week, I noticed one of the girls from that dinner walking past me aimlessly, alternating looking down at her phone and looking for someone she knew. She seemed quite anxious being alone among 300 other people. Admittedly, I was feeling the exact same way. 

So I complimented her on her dress and she stopped, smiled, and thanked me. I introduced myself to her and there was absolutely zero recognition in her eyes. (I felt relieved that she didn’t remember me from that dinner! We were starting over…)

We talked for a few minutes as other people came to join the conversation, including some I didn’t know, and others I hadn’t seen for a while. It was a nice surprise to go from lonely to surrounded by fun and safe people and good conversation.

I believe that reaching out to someone who I had been previously been protecting myself from, softened my heart and created a more welcoming energy to draw other people in. 

If you have been feeling hardened toward someone or something, I encourage you to work toward forgiveness. There’s a dose of enlightenment below to help soften your heart.

Love from Jac 

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Since we promised to treat you to an extra dose of light in your inbox, we include a Dose of Enlightenment for you at the end of each newsletter. We value your agency, so it’s up to you whether or not you receive it!

This Dose of Enlightenment is a frequency equation meant to clear a hidden and trapped emotion that you’ve been holding onto. 

If today's emotion is one that we have already cleared, know that we are addressing a different layer or situation this time.

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Today’s emotion is: hardness

How does this emotion apply to you? For best results, ponder this question and identify how hardness applies to you.

Dose of Enlightenment: 90 + 910 = E

Say it out loud with intent: “ninety plus nine-ten equals enlightenment.”

Breathe. Let it go. Feel the shift. Allow your body to be filled with light.

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For access to all of our past newsletters, see our blog: https://www.enso-ia.com/blogs

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The Doses of Enlightenment come from the M: Collaborations with the Divine Doctor book by Jaclyn Taylor. If you haven’t picked up a copy yet and want to learn more about how this works, you can get one here: 

https://intrinsicallyawaken.com

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Feel free to send us a message at hello@enso-ia.com. We would love to hear from you!

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​Every decision you make brings you closer to—or farther away from—the Light. We will meet you at the Light!