Jeri: Have you even been in a relationship where you’ve felt smothered?

Jac: Unfortunately, yes. And I’ve witnessed the effects of other people living in a smothered relationship for a long length of time. 

Several years ago, I had two friends with an extremely unhealthy relationship. They had been roommates for several years and claimed to be best friends. However, they did not act like what I would imagine a best friend relationship to look like. I met them after they had already been roommates for a few years. 

Michelle (name has been changed) was an amazing cook and did a lot for Kathy (name has also been changed)—she fed her very well. However, there were a lot of expectations baked into those meals. And since Michelle was always feeding her, Kathy felt obligated to appease Michelle in all of the ways.

Kathy began to have multiple serious health issues. At one point she was even put on the transplant list. When anxiety would arise, she would break out into painful hives on her neck and face. 

I noticed Michelle showing similar kinds of manipulation to other people that she was good friends with—including myself. 

Thankfully, I recognized quickly that her “service” came with unhealthy attachments (truly it felt like instead of being smothered with cheese or frosting, the food was smothered with jealousy and deep rooted anger). 

No matter how delicious—or how healthy…her food was literally making people ill.

I genuinely didn't believe she intended for these things to happen, but I immediately put a stop to her serving me in that way. A lot happened, and I made a lot of people angry. I was judged harshly for speaking honestly with Michelle about the motives behind her service: control and fear of being left behind.

After a few months when everything blew over, I discovered that my speaking up had changed everything for Michelle. No one had ever called her out on her behavior before, and because someone cared enough to be honest, she had a major shift in her life.

Her unhealthy relationships became healthy relationships. Kathy got married and moved away, and miraculously all of her health issues disappeared. 

Jeri: Whoa! So being smothered can create a very toxic relationship. One of the definitions for the word smothered is to make (someone) feel trapped and oppressed by acting in an overly protective manner toward them.

And that sure happened in the relationship with your friends.

Jeri: What is the best tip you would recommend in getting out of that kind of a toxic relationship?

Jac: For me, honesty is what changed everything. 

Jeri: It’s not always easy to be honest.

Jac: No, it’s not. Especially when it may come across as hurtful or judgmental. But I was very prayerful before I talked to Michelle and Heavenly Father told me exactly what I needed to say. It was bumpy for a few weeks with that entire group of friends, but it all worked out well in the end.

And amazingly, nobody had to sever ties, because she was willing to look at herself honestly and make some changes.

That doesn’t always happen. Sometimes we have to move on from certain individuals when they are unwilling to change their toxic behaviors toward us. I’ve certainly had to do that a few times. Toxic behaviors are a form of abuse.

Do you have any tips?

Jeri: I love that you approached the whole thing prayerfully. And Heavenly Father knew exactly what Michelle needed. I think the smartest thing we can do is trust His will when we are in those types of relationships. Let’s clear the emotion of feeling smothered!

See below :) 

Love from Jeri and Jac

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Since we promised to treat you to an extra dose of light in your inbox, we include a Dose of Enlightenment for you at the end of each newsletter. We value your agency, so it’s up to you whether or not you receive it!

This Dose of Enlightenment is a frequency equation meant to clear a hidden and trapped emotion that you’ve been holding onto. 

If today's emotion is one that we have already cleared, know that we are addressing a different layer or situation this time.

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Today’s emotion is: smothered

How does this emotion apply to you? For best results, ponder this question and identify how smothered applies to you.

Dose of Enlightenment: 92 + 908 = E

Say it out loud with intent: “ninety-two plus nine-zero-eight equals enlightenment.” 

Breathe. Let it go. Feel the shift. Allow your body to be filled with light.

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To access all of our past newsletters, see our blog: https://www.enso-ia.com/blogs

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The Doses of Enlightenment come from the M: Collaborations with the Divine Doctor book by Jaclyn Taylor. If you haven’t picked up a copy yet and want to learn more about how this works, you can get one here: 

https://intrinsicallyawaken.com

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Feel free to send us a message at hello@enso-ia.com. We would love to hear from you!

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​Every decision you make brings you closer to—or farther away from—the Light. We will meet you at the Light!